RESORT JOB OPENING! JOB OPENING! (NJ's idea, Sara's embellishment) Valhalla Resort looking for a few good men to patrol the beach, manage the crowds (of mosquitos), hand out ridiculous made-up tickets, and other duties including cleaning up of the beach, checking stringers for illegal numbers of fish. must cut your own firewood and deliver it to your own site - Not guaranteed to burn right. Must not harrass customers beyond their point of tolerating you. Must provide own siren this year, or a foghorn-your choice. We will furnish you with a dented Chevy S-10 decked out fully with dust from the past 15 years, old wrenches, a bedliner made of tin cans and a broken toilet seat. Oh yes, it's protected by 27 rusty mouse traps with stale peanut butter on them. Idiotic hat required at all times-decorations of your choice. You must never ask for anything or complain about problems in your cabin or we will dock your pay by $50 at the end of each week such complaints are received. Since we are providing you with such a fine vehicle, you will be able to provide this service to us for purely volunteer status. A lifetime of fond memories and several laugh-until-you-cry episodes. If you are old, we wil not throw you into the lake anymore as soon as you arrive on the premises. We miss you Bennie! ( and all you indiana folks!)