Eyewitness (not to mention "footwitness") report

I would like to provide a first-hand account of the newly revealed allegations against Supreme Commander Patrolman Bob: I was in residence with the Commander in the summer of 2005, I believe it was, when he not only smuggled crickets onto Valhalla Resort property, but also housed them on the porch of Cabin #2! The crickets quickly took to their new surroundings, many making themselves comfortable not only on the porch, but also in each of the bedrooms and the bathroom, especially enjoying the shelter of shoes. I apologize to the Commander for having to come forward like this, but I think it is in the best interest of the current investigation and party accused that this information be shared. It is my belief that only with all of the information can the jury make a truly sound decision. Now the question remains - what is the statute of limitations on cricket smuggling and will the accuser become an accussee? *cue the dramatic music*